Valkyrie Pie
by Al Kristopher
Summary: A pardoy of American Pie, but with Valkyrie Profile stuff snuck in. This is now officially the most insane thing I ever wrote.


Disclaimer: I don't own Valkyrie Profile; Enix does. Don McLean wrote the lyrics to American Pie. All I own is the computer, keyboard, and Microsoft. Bwa haha. Insert suckiness rating in your reviews.

Valkyrie Pie  
by Al Kristopher

  
A long, long time ago  
I can still remember how that Lucian used to make me smile  
And I knew if I had my chance  
That I could make that Lenneth dance  
And maybe she'd be happy for a while.  
But Frigid Damsel made me shiver  
With every paper I'd deliver  
Bad news on the doorstep  
I couldn't take one more step  
I can't remember if I cried  
When I read about Celia's pride  
But something touched me deep inside  
The day that Lucian died  


So bye-bye, get some Valkyrie Pie  
Lezard Valeth made some homunculi  
And them good old boys were drinking elixir and rye  
Singing I'll go to Valhalla when I die,  
Go to Valhalla when I die…  


Did you write the Tome of Love  
And do you have faith in Odin above  
If Nanami tells you so  
Do you believe that Gandar is old  
Can Lenneth save your mortal soul  
And can Lezard teach me how to laugh real slow  
Well, I know that he's in love with her  
Cause I saw her dancing with Lucian, sir  
They both kicked off their shoes  
Man, I dig those Einherjar blues  
Lezard was a lonely teenage buck  
With a Lolita complex and a desire to… _screw!_  
And he knew that he was full of luck  
The day that Lucian died  
He started singing  


Bye-bye, get some Valkyrie Pie  
Lezard Valeth made some homunculi  
And them good old boys were drinkin' elixir and rye  
Singin' I'll go to Valhalla when I die,  
Go to Valhalla when I die…  


Now for ten Chapters they've been on their own  
And Jelanda grew up in her castle home  
But that's not how it used to be  
When Shiho sang for the King and Queen  
In a coat she borrowed from Janus it seemed  
And a voice that came from you and me  
Oh, and while Belenus was looking down  
Badrach stole his precious crown  
Vilnore was aghast  
At the lecherous man's past  
And while Kashell fought and Aelia barked,  
Grey and Brams practiced in the park  
And Shiho sang dirges in the dark  
The day that Lucian died  
We were singing  


Bye-bye, get some Valkyrie Pie  
Lezard Valeth made some homunculi  
And them good old boys were drinkin' elixir and rye  
Singin' I'll go to Valhalla when I die,  
Go to Valhalla when I die…  


Lorenta Prewder was Mystina's tutor  
Genevieve flew off with a lustful suitor  
Eight miles high and falling fast  
She landed foul out on her… _bottom!_  
Arngrim tried for a Finishing Blow  
With Yumei on the sidelines with Suo  
Now the Ragnarok air was sweet perfume  
With samurai Jun wielding a Masamune  
We all got up to fight  
Oh, but we never saw the light  
Cause the Vanir tried to take the field  
The Aesir army refused to yield  
Do you recall what was revealed  
The day that Lucian died  
We started singing  


Bye-bye, get some Valkyrie Pie  
Lezard Valeth made some homunculi  
And them good old boys were drinkin' elixir and rye  
Singin' I'll go to Valhalla when I die,  
Go to Valhalla when I die…  


Oh, and there we were all in the Seraphic Gate  
A generation lost in hate  
With no time left to start again  
So come on, Jayle be nimble, Jayle be quick  
The sight of Magnus made her sick  
Cause fire is Loki's only friend  
Oh, and as I watched him on the stage  
My hands were clenched in fists of rage  
No angel born in Hell  
Could break that Loki's spell  
And as the Dragon Orb climbed into the night  
To light the sacrificial rite  
I saw Loki laughing with delight  
The day that Lucian died  
He was singing  


Bye-bye, get some Valkyrie Pie  
Lezard Valeth made some homunculi  
And them good old boys were drinkin' elixir and rye  
Singin' I'll go to Valhalla when I die,  
Go to Valhalla when I die…  


I met Lyseria who sang the blues  
And I asked her for some happy news  
But she just sighed and turned away  
I went down to the Weeping Field  
Where I'd seen Lenneth's spirit yield  
But the ghost there said that Loki won the day  
And in the streets the children screamed  
The lovers cried, and the poets dreamed  
But not a word was spoken  
The church bells all were broken  
And the three deities I admire most  
Odin, Freya and Platina's Ghost  
They caught the last carriage for the coast  
The day that Lucian died  
And they were singing  
Bye-bye, get some Valkyrie Pie  
Lezard Valeth made some homunculi,  
Them good old boys were drinking elixir and rye  
Singin' I'll go to Valhalla when I die

Go to Valhalla when I die…


End file.
